The Sun and Saturday Nights
by RedtoBlue
Summary: A series of drabbles on Ennis and Jack's time on BBM and after. Canon. Inspired by and built around drabbles by another fanfic writer. Characters belong to AP.
1. The Sun

_**Eyes**__ (by morrobay1990)_

_It wasn't something he thought of often...but once in a while._

_He knew what beautiful was...he saw beauty in women's faces, the high Wyoming mountains, horses...all kinds of things. But you weren't supposed to think...a man was beautiful._

_But Jack...Jesus. And those eyes. Sometimes he was glad Jack liked to talk so much, just so he could sit and stare at him...he tried to listen, but really he was just looking at those eyes._

_Lately he had started to wonder what it would be like to look into those eyes while they were fucking. Maybe he should find out...tonight_.

* * *

**The Sun**

He changed his mind.

Truth was once the thought had settled in he hadn't been able to shake it off. It annoyed the hell outta him but he couldn't do absolutely nothin' about it. So, he'd decided to do it soon as he got back. To see what it was like and fuckin' forget about it already.

He came down early, feeling a little funny, stalled when he got to the camp and dismounted, fiddled around Cigar Butt longer than necessary, light headed, his mouth dry. Shit, last thing he needed was a sunstroke. It'd been unusually warm lately and he'd been out in the sun the whole day.

He caught Jack by his belt when his friend brushed by, heading towards the river. Pulled him into his arms, back to front, rocked him a little. Then his hands found Jack's belt buckle and things heated up in a second. But when Jack dropped on the grass on his hands and knees, jeans around his ankles, he tackled him, rolled him onto his back and crashed on top.

The late afternoon sun caressed their exposed skin and he felt dizzy again, his heart leaped to his throat. Fuck, got himself a sunstroke after all…

…And when he was finally home and looked at Jack's eyes, so close up beneath him, he gasped… holy fuckin' shit!.. and closed his eyes…

'Cause how the fuck you supposed ta keep your eyes open gazing straight inta the sun?..


	2. Burnt By The Sun

_**Impulse** (by morrobay1990)_

_Hoof beats.  
Canter.  
Trot.  
Walk.  
Bridle rattling.  
Boots on hard earth.  
Tent flap open, smell of sweet air, dawn air.  
Ennis behind him, pushing against him...hands everywhere...zippers down, jeans down._

_He fought the impulse to turn, pull him into his arms, kiss him. He thought about it all the time...he fought the impulse._

_It felt good, right? Front to back...back to front...it always felt good._

_Would it really be any better if they were face to face? If they were looking at each other as they fucked? Would it even make a difference?_

_Always felt good._

_He fought the impulse._

...

Earlier in "**The Sun**"

"…_And when he was finally home and looked at Jack's eyes, so close up beneath him, he gasped… holy fuckin' shit!.. and closed his eyes…"_

'_Cause how the fuck you supposed ta keep your eyes open gazing straight inta the sun?.."_

* * *

**Burnt By The Sun **

He'd been thinking on it the whole day.

It had started off as an impulse sometime a week ago, but somehow in the last few days he hadn't been able to shake the thought off his mind no more. So, now he wanted it so bad he'd start shaking every fucking time he was around Ennis.

Like now, as he hurried past his friend heading towards the river to chill the fuck off already. Ennis's unusually early return to the camp had caught him off guard and he hadn't been able to focus on anything since. Jesus fucking Christ, he should quit thinking on it or he'd go crazy and do something stupid. Like brushing so close past his friend that he got himself a nose-full of the heady smell of musky sweat and cigarettes and horses and sheep and high meadow grasses and sun that was all Ennis. Thing was he didn't _have to_ walk past him or nothin'. He just couldn't fight the urge that seared through his body, breaking sweat. Shit, must be the sun or sumthin'. Been mighty warm and sunny lately…

What happened next tipped him off balance completely and sent him into a free fall.

Ennis caught him by his belt, pulled him into his arms, held him, back to front, rocked him a little. Like he was trying to soothe him into fucking. As if he needed to… But then, when he dropped on this hands and knees, high from the feel of soft afternoon sun and callused hands of his bare ass and thighs, Ennis flipped him, rolled him onto his back, pushed his own jeans down and threw himself on top of him.

For a moment his mind went blank.

When it started functioning again, so far behind all his other senses, his first thought was that he had to look at Ennis. 'Cause what he'd thought as good afore now seemed like… like a camp fire to the sun. He hoped Ennis felt it too, it was so fuckin' good. _Good_, huh? Fuck the word!.. But he couldn't think of another just now, as his whole being filled up with joy and Ennis and something else he didn't have a word for neither.

So, he opened his eyes to look at his friend and… sucked in his breath… Sweet fucking Jesus!..

Ennis was looking straight in his eyes, his own dark and molten, startled, blond ruffled hair catching fire from the huge gleaming copper and gold disk behind him, skin aglow, lips parted like he was trying to catch his breath but couldn't.

He reached a hand, touched the fire in Ennis's hair and exploded in thousands brilliant little suns… and closed his eyes…

…And as he was falling into a minute bliss, basking in the warmth of the arms and body surrounding him and the late afternoon sun he was getting helplessly used to, his last thought was that he hoped he wouldn't get burnt by it... by the sun.


	3. Midnight Sun

_**After Midnight** (by morrobay1990_)

_He hadn't known that you could actually have a favorite time of day to fuck…but now he did._

_After midnight._

_He liked being in the dark shadows, everything was softer...lit by firelight or moonlight...he could still hide a little...though he was slowly getting over the shyness he'd had at first...Jack made sure of that...because when Jack wanted him naked, he got naked. Jack had a way of asking that wasn't really asking..._

_At first he was only comfortable when they were in the tent at night...then early morning was okay...and the first time they did it in broad daylight, Jack had gotten him so riled up, he wouldn't have cared if they'd had an audience._

_So yeah, his favorite time was after midnight...kind of tied with early morning and broad daylight._

* * *

**Midnight Sun **

He knew exactly what he wanted when it came to… Ennis. 'Kay, might as well say it – when it came to fucking with Ennis. Which meant most of the time he was around him, or not, and in any which way his friend would have him.

But then, he also had a favorite time of the day and the way he liked it best. Fuck it! – he craved it, ever since they done it the first time, eleven days ago: face to face, in the broad daylight, Ennis's face above him, shining against the sun… in the sun… like the sun… his sun… He'd tried to lure his friend back into that wondrous place and moment, where both were totally lost to the world and in each other, like nothin' existed no more, 'xcept the two a them… and the sun. So, he would strip naked once in a while to rile Ennis up, with a hope that his cowboy would lose it, his shyness together with his clothes, and look at him again, the way he had that first time they did it.

Thing was he knew Ennis liked to look at him, his eyes, his body, but the shithead always tried so hard to hide it that he didn't dare to even hint that he noticed. And after that first time he wouldn't fuck with him face to face no more, not in the broad daylight. He reckoned seeing him so close up and in your face mighta been too much for Ennis after all and it almost broke his... Shit!.. Never mind…

But then Ennis would do it willingly at night. Especially after midnight. The dumbass would get him naked, stare at his body like a starving man at the feast, hiding in the night shadows, thinking that he couldn't see. 'Cause he would then drop his gaze, let his friend take his sweet time to look, for once thankful he got those goddamn eyelashes he hated, thought they made him look like a fucking gal… And then Ennis would go at him like a mad man, fuck him face to face, gazing straight into his eyes, his own so soft and open it would leave him with his heart stuck in his throat.

And in the end it was okay that there was no sun. 'Cause looking at Ennis's glowing face above him, lit by firelight or moonlight, it was easy 'nough to make believe that they were in the sun... for _he_ was the sun… his sun…


	4. For A Long Time After Saturdays

_**Saturdays** (by morrobay1990)_

_Jack loved Saturdays._

_Supplies brought in the day before, plenty of cigarettes and full bottles of whiskey...life was good._

_And as they were sitting outside the tent on this Saturday night, Jack could swear Ennis was trying to tease him into fucking...stretched out by the fire, no shirt, jeans open, those long legs going on forever...and he figured that if he looked at Ennis just right, those jeans might come off...so, reaching for his belt, he stared at Ennis, dragging his eyes over him top to bottom...and sure enough...he left those jeans in the dust and fell into Jack's arms._

* * *

**For A Long Time After Saturdays**

Ennis looked forward to Saturdays.

Supplies woulda been delivered the day before, so there'd be whiskey and cigarettes and food aplenty. All the little things that made Jack happy. This time there were even a few cans of soup he'd ordered last week, 'cause the little shithead had complained he was tired a beans. Ennis didn't care one way or the other, could go on beans for long as needed. But Jack… Well, t'was no trouble at all if soup kept Jack happy.

Truth was when he was happy sometimes Ennis would catch the glimpse of _that_ _look_ on Jack's face again, the one that made his knees weak. He didn't know what it meant but it scared the shit outta him, thought it made _him_ weak. Like that first time he'd seen it on Jack's face, on the second night he had… stayed in the tent with Jack. That time he'd been so… so overcome by _that_ _look_ that all he'd managed to do was close his eyes and let Jack hold him…

Okay, could just fuckin' admit it: so he wanted to see _it_ again. Wanted to close his eyes and… just stay in Jack's arms for a moment. Even if it made him feel weak in his gut. Shit, nobody had to know, right ? And Jack, surely he wouldn't mind holding him … for just a minute. 'Cause after that he'd give Jack what he knew Jack wanted – fuck him face to face, by the campfire, under the fuckin' moon. No hardship, sir, not at all!

So, on this Saturday night, when they were done with their dinner, he took his shirt off, left his jeans half opened and stretched out in front of the fire. Waiting for his friend to pick up on the clue, furtively watching him from under his lashes. Sure 'nough, Jack did. Looked at Ennis with that hungry stare a his, 'cause the little shit was always hungry, for one thing or another, then he slowly undid his belt…

And when he lost his jeans and fell into Jack's arms, holding his breath, steeling himself for _that_ _look_ and what it did to him, always, it was there for Ennis alright, pouring freely from Jack's eyes, flooding him over … So, he closed his eyes and tried to memorize that strange feeling inside a him, terrifying as hell and so fuckin' addictive. All he needed was just a tiny li'l minute…

'Cause when you got nothin', you learn to make even a minute last for a long time…


	5. One Third

_**South End of the Gallatins**__ by morrobay1990_

_April 21, 1970_

_The only way he could remember everything was to start at the beginning of the trip, and go through the days one at a time. This trip had been the best so far...from the first day he saw Ennis drive up and get out of his truck...and it had only gotten better._

_Ennis had been early for a change, Jack was still unloading camping gear when he heard his truck and trailer pull up close by._

_There was that first jolt of seeing him again...wishing he could make time stop as he looked at him...then the head-long rush to get their hands on each other...and that kiss._

_This time they hadn't fucked right away...knew they __could__ any time they wanted to...that in itself a freedom they rarely had...it was enough that they were together...they were getting to know each other again...catching up, talking as old friends do._

_Sex would come a little later...only a little later._

_..._

_This time was different._

_He had come to Jack...usually they were on each other first thing and it didn't last long...being away from each other for six months usually meant a fast first fuck._

_But not this time...Ennis came to him as night was falling...knelt __down...unbuttoned his shirt...rubbed his hands up and down Jack's chest...but slow...and it felt so good...his hands on him...don't stop don't stop...he kept repeating it in his mind...kept his eyes on Ennis, to remember._

_He looked up into Jack's eyes and the kiss that happened held all of Ennis's unsaid feelings..._

_It was love they made._

* * *

**One Third **by red2blue

It was different this time.

Different meant it was the first time they did something new. Meant a step forward.

Jack remembered every single time it'd been different, every step forward. First time they fucked. First time they kissed. First time they did it face to face, out in the open, under the fuckin' sun... First time Ennis came into his arms, to be held, even if it'd been only for a minute... First time he let Jack take him, completely, the year they gotten back together...

This time was different, too. For once, they didn't fuck right away when they arrived and Ennis held him for a few seconds longer and said he'd missed him... Christ, didn't he know!... And then he came to Jack as the night was falling, unbuttoned Jack's shirt, caressed his chest, his shoulders, his face... and then the kiss, _that_ kiss... And when they finally joined, Ennis looked into his eyes, rocking into him, slowly, and whispered, his eyes so soft, 'Jack, I...'

Jack thought his heart would rip his chest open. _Goddamn_! Seven years, one third of the road... But they were getting there, right? He hoped so... No, he _knew_ they were and it was only two third left to go… till he'd hear it, the whole thing. He could wait. If time was what Ennis needed, he would wait. 'Cause now he knew for sure it was worth waiting for... Love was...

For it was love they made and finally Ennis saw it...

* * *

Soundtrack: 'Everything I Do, I Do It For You' by Brian Adams


	6. Beggar, Broke

_**Rich** by morrobay1990_

_"I should get my ass outta here and get up to the herd."_

_Simple words that would have been understood except that he had his mouth pressed against Jack's neck, so the whole sentence came out garbled._

_He didn't move._

_"When you goin' back?"_

_He lifted his lips a hairs-breadth away from Jack's skin, "Soon. Now."_

_He didn't move._

_"Still early...stay."_

_"Can't. Ya know that."_

_He didn't move._

_"Give ya a million bucks to stay."_

_"You got a million bucks?"_

_"I might."_

_"Yeah? Let's see it."_

_Jack rolled over and pressed against him._

_"Fuck...feels like a million bucks...guess i'm stayin'."….._

* * *

**Beggar, Broke **by red2blue

The daylight was fading fast when everything was said and done and there was nothing left to do but head in opposite directions.

Ennis shivered. His clenched jaw was numb, bitten down nails on fingers curled in a death grip inside his jacket pocket drawing blood.

_Stay…_

The sun was a colorless blotch against the pallid blue and random gusts of wind rubbed dust into the eyes when you least expected, made them water. He knew he should just start walking but he didn't; shouldn't take that last look at Jack but he did. And winced...

_Goddamn! _That's where all the colors of the sky and sun and storm and sleet and rain had gone...

He woulda given a million bucks to wipe away that look on Jack's face… a beggar starving to death, knowing the answer already, but hoping against all hopes…

_Stupid fucker, shoulda known better than t' beg… _

He flexed his fingers, spreading the sticky dampness around, reveling in the sting as sweat and dirt rubbed onto the broken skin of the palm…

_Fuck, I can't…_and started walking…

'Cause what a man could give when he's not even in a poor house… when he's jus' dead broke…

* * *

Soundtrack: 'If You Go Away', by Terry Jacks


	7. The Missin' Thing

_**South End of the Gallatins, 4/22/70, Dawn** by morrobay1990_

_Next morning, just before dawn, Jack woke to Ennis reaching for him...coming to him with rough hands and soft tongue... tender words on his lips...words of missing, wanting, needing._

_Once in a while he wondered what it was about the dark that made it easier for Ennis to open up. Wasn't like they couldn't see each other...wasn't like they couldn't see into each others' eyes. But Ennis sure preferred the dark._

_Oh, he'd fuck in the daylight. He'd fuck and more in the day time, bright sun overhead...yessir, Jack had some fine memories of Ennis in the sun... rearing up over him, looking down at Jack...or coming up behind him when he didn't expect it, taking him down... cock out, then in him._

_Those were some no-doubt-about-it hot fucking thoughts that got him through some cold, lonely nights. And this was shaping up to be one of their best trips yet._

_And the talking, the words that Jack loved to hear... in the dark Ennis would open up effortlessly, and Jack savored every word...knew he'd probably never hear what he wanted to most, but what Ennis gave in the dark was enough...most of the time, when they were together, it was enough...long nights in Childress, though...that was a different story._

_Well, what the fuck can you do? Can't have everything..._

* * *

**The Missin' Thing**

On the last day of their trip, just before the nightfall, something came over Ennis, strong, scalding, robbing him of his breath.

Jack was getting ready to make a dinner over the campfire when Ennis came up quietly behind him, hauled him up and into his arms, back to front, pressed his nose and mouth into the side of Jack's neck and breathed out 'Jack, I…"

…Like on the first night of this trip, the best trip they'd had so far, he wanted to say something to Jack, to make Jack see… _Somethin'_… But he didn't know what. He didn't know how…

So, he undid Jack's belt, slowly, turned Jack around and dropped on his knees. He lifted Jack's denim shirt and pressed his face into Jack's belly in an awkward gesture, his heart pulsing in his throat, a burn spreading behind his eyelids.

"Miss yah, Jack…"

Yeah, that was it. That was what he felt – he _missed_ Jack. Even with Jack right there in his arms, his skin hot under Ennis's mouth, his cock coming to life, straining, pushing against his neck, Jack's scent sending him into a free fall.

"Miss yah…" He croaked out and dipped his head, opened his lips to the strange new taste, the taste of Jack that he knew now he'd always been craving for.

"Ennisss…" Jack's hands plunged into his hair as if he was trying to push Ennis away. "Whatcha…?"

"Misss yah so _goddam'_ much…" He let go of Jack's cock and whispered again, raising his eyes to look at his friend's face.

Jack's eyes were bottomless pools of raw emotion, lips trembling, legs buckling under him. So Ennis gentled him down onto the ground, unbuttoned his shirt, stroked the flushed skin of his chest, his face, his thighs, his throbbing length, with his hands and his lips and his tongue, all the while chanting under his breath 'miss yah… miss yah, Jack…'

Soon, Jack arched up from the ground, made three shallow thrusts with his hips and spilled into Ennis's mouth, a whimper jammed back mercilessly in his throat…

Sometimes Ennis wondered if Jack liked to hear him saying those words more than he liked fucking. Maybe even more'n fuckin' face ta face. _That_ _look _on his face, in his eyes… Like Jack would gladly die to hear them… And maybe some other words Ennis wished he'd known how to say…

And then sometimes he wished they'd been back on Brokeback, back to the beginning, when both were younger and foolish and carefree, not burdened with responsibilities and… _knowing_… And he wished he'd said some of 'em words to Jack back _then_. Maybe things woulda been different… He didn't know how different, but still wished he had, now that he knew that them feelings back _then_ were as strong, but not marred with the open spaces he couldn't fill with what he knew; him _not_ _knowing _yet how it felt to part…

Fuck, he woulda given anythin' t'go back to the start, back to the time they'd first _discovered_ each other and this…this_ missin' thing_… him missin' Jack so much sometimes he could barely stand it… He woulda given everythin'…

…Thing was he _knew _he couldn't.

* * *

_Sountrack: The Scientist, by ColdPlay_


	8. The Missin' Thing part 2

_**Five Things Ennis Misses About Jack** (1983 – now) by morrobay1990_

_5. Making love._  
_Can't say he'd fucked for fun much, not after that summer with Jack...that summer was fun, but more than that...'course he'd only faced up to that lately... after that, after Brokeback...with Alma, well, it was okay...couldn't say they did it for fun all that much..._  
_he thought about Jack a lot when he was with Alma... wasn't right – couldn't help it...he guessed it was them (maybe just him) getting older that made it – less like just fucking, more like making love...he didn't think about it much, men were supposed to like fucking_  
_anybody just 'cause it felt good, right?_

_4. Sleeping._  
_Sure never thought he'd miss something like sleeping next to Jack, but he does. Funny thing...when he was married to Alma, he liked to have space around him when he was sleeping, and she was always wanting to smash herself up against him...well, he guessed he knew why she liked it, 'cause now when he thought about it, he remembered what it was like...him and Jack down in that sleeping bag, pulled up over their heads if it was real cold...they fit together... they were warm, safe, together. Got cold sleeping alone...fuck yeah, he missed sleeping with Jack._

_3. Looking forward._  
_Twenty years he had something to look forward to... picking out a place to meet up, sending that postcard, waiting for the one to come back...after '83, he didn't have nothing...Jack was what he'd looked forward to for all them years and now there was nothing. So...what do you do with your life when you got nothing coming up, nothing to plan for, nothing you want to do? He used to think that if you didn't have nothing then_  
_you didn't need nothing...well, that was all shot to shit...he didn't have Jack, but he sure as hell needed him._

_2. Riding the mountains._  
_Simple thing. Until you didn't have anyone to ride the mountains with. Once, ten or fifteen years after Jack died, he'd gone up there by himself...took his horse...rode up_  
_higher than he and Jack had ever been...'course they usually didn't get too far up 'cause they'd find a decent place to camp and stop right away, didn't want to use up too much time going higher...needed to be together more than they needed to find the perfect spot._  
_But this time, when he went up alone, he kept seeing things that he wished he could share with Jack...eagle high up on a treetop, about the best sunset he could remember...and a waterfall – shit, had they ever come up on a waterfall? Riding the mountains alone..._  
_yeah, well...he'd never do that again..._

_1. Talking._  
_Never considered himself much of a talker...never realized how much he had talked to Jack until he was gone...never realized that he used to save things up to tell him...little stuff mostly...how he didn't like who he was working for at the time...the good deal he got on the last saddle he bought...how he liked being able to get away with Jack, go to the_  
_mountains, only time he felt free...little stuff._

* * *

**Four Things Jack Missed Till the End of His Fucked Up Life **by red2blue

4. Being held to sleep by Ennis.

Nobody ever held him like Ennis did – back to front, bodies aligning perfectly, strong arms cradling, possessive... Like he was somethin' precious. Like Ennis never wanted to let go… No, sir, nobody never could. For starters, he never _let_ nobody hold him like that - never before, surely not after. Then in Texas, sometimes Lureen would sneak up on him at night in their bed, pressing her soft breasts and round belly against his back, draping a thin, clingy arm over his waist. In the beginning he would keep still for a minute, then would turn around and hold her instead. But then, as time went by, he would slide out of bed, walk bare feet out onto the porch and stand there for long time, trying to will the need away… And only whiskey dulled the yearning some, first a coupla shots, then a helluva lot more as time went by… 'Cause only Ennis could hold him ta sleep, God knows why…

3. Making love.

Okay, so he liked fuckin', no bones about it. Needed it like eatin' or breathin'… or talkin'… Hell, who doesn't, right? But with Ennis, it's not so much fuckin' that he missed. No it wasn't. It was makin' love… He didn't realize it till they got back together in '67 and then he thought Ennis figured that out too, 'round three years later, on one a their trips in the South end of the Gallatins. Yeah, that's what he did with Ennis, always had... _Only_ with Ennis. Everything else was just fuckin', before and after. Even during those first few months with Lureen, when he thought he'd finally found something, someone, who could fill the hollowness in him after Brokeback… But even _then_ it was not the same… Nothin' else never was... And he missed it bad, almost all the fuckin' time... somethin' he hardly never had…

2. Ennis talking.

Yeah, that's what he missed, Ennis talkin', strange as it would sound. 'Cause _he _was the one who did most of the talkin' 'tween the two a them anyways and he knew Ennis didn't mind it. Hell, he prob'ly liked it, seeing as he would gaze at him talkin' with that 'preciative li'l smile a his all the time… But then, when Ennis would start talkin' hisself, li'l stuff mostly, like the good deal he gotten on the last saddle or how he liked being able to get away with him, go to the mountains, only time Ennis felt free… things like that… Felt like Ennis been savin' all those li'l things up to tell him during their trips and he felt so proud he thought he'd burst… And then there was times when Ennis would start sayin' words he woulda given anythin' to hear, anythin' at all! Words like 'miss yah, Jack', words like 'Jack, I…'… He'd never finished sayin' them words in the end, but he knew what Ennis meant anyways and that was alright.

1. Dreams of a sweet life.

Weird as it was, the last thought of his miserable, fucked up life was that what he been missin' most were dreams of a sweet life, with Ennis. And they came back to him then, those dreams, in that last minute, clear as a day behind his eyelids, warmed his heart in a flash, lit up a smile on his broken and bloodied lips… And it dawned on him then that t'was prob'ly those dreams that had kept him goin', carried him through all 'em years when the two a them were apart. He'd thought the stupid dreams a his had died that day at the trailhead, when they'd said 'em words to each other, words that could never be taken back, nor forgotten. Words that could get someone killed… And that's what happened to him in the end: he gave up dreamin' and hopin' and got careless… For he couldn't stand to live without no hope of having a sweet life with Ennis, even if it was just in his dreams…

* * *

Soundtrack: In Dreams, by Roy Orbison


	9. Could Be Like That, Always

**Sierra Madres, November, 1970, by morrobay1990**

"Years on years they worked their way through the high meadows and mountain drainages, horse-packing into the Big Horns, Medicine Bows, south end of the Gallatins, Absarokas, Granites, Owl Creeks, the Bridger-Teton Range, the Freezeouts and the Shirleys, Ferrises and the Rattlesnakes, Salt River Range, into the Wind Rivers over and again, **the Sierra Madres,** Gros Ventres, the Washakies, Laramies, but never returning to Brokeback." **AP, BBM**

_11/1/70_

_Don Wroe had a hunting cabin in the Sierra Madres, let his friends use it when he wasn't._

_Ennis was nervous about asking, nervous about him and Jack using it, but he asked for it anyway, and now they were going... he'd sent the postcard late because he'd put off talking to Don about it, almost didn't get the time off...but now it was all set and he was meeting up with Jack on the tenth, had off until the twenty fuckin' first...eleven days...and he couldn't wait._

_He was pretty proud of himself for getting a cabin for them to use on this trip._

_He'd never seen it, just knew how to get there...knew it had beds so they'd be up off the floor...knew it had a stove so they'd be warm for once. It was just a hunting cabin, but he wanted Jack to know that he was doing something, Jack always making that long drive up and back, n'all._

_The things he had in his life...work, family, drinking...they sure weren't doing the job of taking his mind off Jack...but it was just something he had to put up with. At least they had the trips, getting away, back up in the mountains, almost like the first time...well, no, not like that...but better than nothing._

_Sometimes he went over that last trip in his mind...not sometimes, every damn day...Jesus, that last trip...when he got back home he hadn't touched Alma for almost a week...not that they fucked all that often, couple times a week maybe... but he just didn't even want to be near her...then that Saturday night he drank too much...needed Jack too much... hurt her feelings mostly, spent the next day apologizing... only thing he was really sorry for was letting Jack go..._

_Eleven days...he couldn't fucking wait..._

* * *

**Could Be Like That, Always**

T'was a good thing that he'd held off reading the postcard till he was in his truck. He'd barely managed it, but he had… Was a good thing. 'Cause now Jack'd been sitting here for maybe fifteen minutes already and couldn't stop grinning like a goddamn fool, staring at the postcard in his hand, pulse drumming in his ears, the sting in his eyes blurring his vision.

_Ennis, damn… What you done?… Jesus, Ennis, sonovabitch… Sonovabitch!.. _

For once words were failing Jack. He couldn't believe what he'd read, for maybe ten times already.

He let out a giggle, shut his eyes and shook his head sharply to clear his eyesight, re-read the words inked on the white rectangle in Ennis's handwriting.

"_**Friend, can you make it Nov 10 to 21? Borrowed Don's hunting cabin. Meet you Nov 10 at noon beginning of Jack Creek Rd outside Saratoga? Ennis."**_

_Damn!_

He'd never gotten a response to his postcard sent in August asking if they could meet in October 'round Laramies. So, he'd been down for two months now, almost given up hoping for another trip this year… Hell, he'd been terrified that the last trip had sent his shy cowboy into hiding, it'd been so… so fuckin' unbelievable... The best!

Ennis been so… open, almost, so sincere on their last trip, sayin' and doin' things to Jack that he never done before, so that at times Jack'd thought he was dreamin'. He hadn't been able ta stop thinking 'bout the trip since. Not for a single day, for six goddamn months! Couldn't a made himself sleep in Lureen's bed for over a week after that trip, gotten himself drunk as a skunk every night, passed out on the couch in her beige and cream sitting room. She'd been disgusted with him for sure, but he just couldn't a helped it. Had tried to make it up for her in other ways during the day, for the whole fuckin' month. But that was alright - he owed her at least _that_…

And now _this: _Ennis, his Ennis gone out of the way to arrange a trip for the two a them. Complete with a hunting cabin!.. Never mind that he was supposed ta go down ta Houston on November 15th for L.D. Fuck L.D.! The sonovabitch could just go ahead 'n fire him, he didn't give a flyin' fuck… And Lureen, Lureen would just have ta take Bobby ta see the doctor with her Momma, just this once. He'd make it up for them later…

_Christ, Ennis… A fuckin' cabin for eleven fuckin' days! Un-fuckin-believable!... _

But he wanted to believe it, wanted so bad. That his cowboy was gettin' used ta the idea a them… together? Maybe changin' his mind, jus' a li'l? Had said he'd missed Jack bad last time, hadn't he, even with Jack bein' right there, in his arms? And this time, this time it'd be as good... No, it'd be even better, he's sure! And maybe, just maybe, he'd tell Ennis again, on this trip, that it could be like that, jus' like _that_, always... Yeah, _that's_ what he'd do…

_A course I can make it, cowboy! Don't you go doubtin' it fer a minute!_

Jack wrenched the truck's door open, eyes shining, a happy grin etched deep on his face, and walked quickly back into the post office.

* * *

Soundtrack: I Want To Be Your Everything, by Keith Urban


	10. Waiting

_**Sierra Madres, 11/10/70, Morning **– by morrobay1990_

_"Goddamn piece a shit!" Jack cursed the flat tire, cursed the last lugnut that wouldn't budge, cursed the day for dawning._

_He had left Childress early that morning in a good mood, everything packed in the truck the night before, a thermos of coffee with him so he wouldn't have to stop till early afternoon...once he got on the road he hated to stop._

_Now as he struggled to get the tire changed he knew he'd be at least an hour late meeting Ennis near Saratoga before following him God knew how far up into the Sierras to the cabin Ennis had got for them._

_Thinking about the cabin made his mood brighten a little...sure be better than sleeping in a tent...he figured it was going to be high twenties, low thirties, and with the wind off those mountains...damn, good to be inside for a change._

_His mind drifted...in the mountains, inside, warm, in a bed, with Ennis. That image spurred him on...he threw his weight into it and the final lugnut surrendered, he quickly changed the tire, jumped back in the truck and took off._

_Now the closer he got to the meeting place, the more his mood lifted, thinking of Ennis...their last trip in April...what Ennis had said to him...the sweet spring days, long cold nights..._

_Those thoughts were what got him through the blistering summer days in Texas...the thick, airless summer nights with Lureen...she still wanted him, didn't know why he didn't want her any more...so he tried, he pretended… sex was sex, except it wasn't. He didn't want to hurt her, but he loved Ennis so much...missed him so much. Nothing she could say or do could make that disappear... Jesus, if he could make it disappear, he would..._

_Wouldn't he?_

_Eleven days in a bed with Ennis...he put his foot to the floor, risking a speeding ticket._

_Jack was usually the first to arrive, he always had to wait for Ennis...looking at his watch he figured this time he was right on schedule...late as hell._

* * *

**Sierra Madres, 11/10/70, Afternoon. **by red2blue

For once Ennis was lost. It was way past due the meeting time but Jack was still nowhere to be seen.

Usually Jack would be the one to arrive first and waiting and somehow he'd always taken it for granted that his friend'd be there, at their meeting place, no matter what. But this time he wasn't and it'd suddenly struck Ennis how stuck-up it'd been of him to think that Jack _had_ to be there, waiting on him.

_Why's that, Ennis? 'Cause he's always so keen ta do whatcha want? 'Cause yer think he cain't wait ta…see yah? Fer you ta… get t'gether? That's what yer think, dickhead? Guess what, maybe he's not so keen no more, after all 'em years... of what? A few fucks a year? Maybe he's got other … stuff ta do… maybe it's you who cain't wait…maybe it's you who should be waitin' on Jack?... maybe doin' sumthin'…if yer don't wanna him ta… No, he cain't… not Jack… can he?..._

Suddenly he panic enveloped him like a cold, damp blanket… But then if Jack couldn't do _that_ to Ennis, then the only other option was… an accident? A flat tire? A tire…

_No! Shut the fuck up, you! _He refused to think on that, period.

Ennis kicked the tire of his truck viciously, tore his eyes from the ground to throw a furiously glare at the sunless November sky and howled "No, Jack, no!"

_No… He's prob'ly jus'… tied up with… sumthin'…Please, Jack… Please!…_

Ennis swallowed down the raising bile, exhaled sharply.

He'd wait, long as Jack needed. Whatever it was Jack needed ta take his time ta do. He could wait, right? He'd be right here, just right here, waiting for his Jack.

* * *

Soundtrack: Right Here Waiting For You, by Richard Marx


	11. The One

_Sierra Madres, 11/10/70, Evening – by morrobay1990_

_He heard the truck before he saw it, then it came around the curve and pulled over behind his. He threw his cigarette down, crushed it under his boot and walked over to Jack._

_"Kinda late there, ain't ya?" But his tone was soft, not angry. Shit, he'd made Jack wait time and again, no big thing that he was late this once._

_"Had a fuckin' flat. Let's go, I'll follow you. How far up we gotta go, anyway? I'm sick of bein' in this damn truck."_

_Jack was pissed, Ennis figured it was the flat tire that had him in a bad mood._

_"Shit, least an hour, prob'ly more like two. You wanna get out and stretch your legs, have a beer...I got some in the cooler."_

_"No, I wanna get the hell on the road and get there."_

_"Okay, okay...shit, I didn't give you a flat..." Jack didn't hear the rest and didn't care._

_Ennis walked back to his truck, got in and slammed the door, put it in gear and started up the mountain._

_Well, this was startin' off just great. Why couldn't it be like last time?_

_It was more like two hours when they finally pulled up in front of the cabin and got out, Jack first to the door, "Hurry up and get the damn door open, will ya?"_

_"Jesus, Jack, what the hell's wrong with you?"_

_Jack walked in and looked around._

_"Well, that's fucking great. Bunk beds. You bring your kids with you, or what? Shit, doubt I'll even fit_  
_in one a them things."_

_"You wanna sleep outside in a tent, fine with me."_

_Ennis didn't know what he'd done to put Jack in such a bad mood, but he knew he got in moods like this when he missed Jack more than he could stand..._

_He walked up behind Jack and put his arms around him, hoped he wouldn't pull away...they'd both waited so long for this very thing, to be in the same room with each other...to breathe the same air...to touch._

_And he didn't pull away, dropped his head down wearily and rubbed his cheek against Ennis's arm, "Sorry..."_

_"It's ok...what got you goin', the tire?"_

_Yeah, Jack, what got you goin'?_

_Tell him...tell him it wasn't the tire...tell him it was your separate lives...living for the two weeks a year...  
everything they had to wait for...the nothing that was his life...tell him...tell him..._

_"Yeah, the tire."_

_Ennis let him go and moved to the stove, put some wood in, struck a match, watched until the flames caught and flickered._

_"Be warm enough in here pretty soon. Heard the weather report, goin' down into the twenties this week. I'm gonna bring in the stuff from the trucks." He'd brought a few things, mostly beer and cigarettes, whiskey... Jack usually brought the food._

_Jack reached out and grabbed his arm as he passed by on the way to the door, "Sorry...I'm glad to see you, real glad. This is a nice place...you done good. And I guess those beds'll hold us... hope they don't break."_

_His smile was weak...it was enough for Ennis._

* * *

**The One, by red2blue**

Jack was jolted out of sleep by a cry that cut through his gut, heart slammed against the ribcage, cold sweat breaking.

_Ennis? What the fuck?... _He tried to shrug off the shreds of haziness from his drowsy mind…

He was in bed, with Ennis… No, not a bed really, a bunk bed, barely fitting the both a them in, his back pressed tight into Ennis's front, both naked… The cabin… Don's cabin that Ennis'd borrowed for them… them arriving in the evening… _what time s'it?... _

Jack had been in a foul mood after sixteen hours of high-tailing across four states, a flat that'd made him late, so late that he'd skipped his lunch, stopping only to relieve himself, refill his coffee thermos and buy some chips… Then when he'd stepped in the cabin 'n seen the bunk beds… _Fuck!..._ Well, t'was not quite what he'd expected and he'd almost lost it. He'd wanted so much for it to be good, like their last time in April… But then, it wasn't Ennis's fault either, and it'd made him feel even worse…

Their first fuck'd been frantic, almost joyless and ended too fast, botha been so desperate, wanting to reach the finish line so much… so that when they'd gotten there it'd been like an anticlimax. Then, after a quick and mostly silent dinner Jack'd shed his clothes and collapsed in bed…

"No, Jack! _No!_"

Jack's heart squeezed at the desperation and grief in Ennis's sob, almost a howl choked back mercilessly down his throat. Ennis's arm, draped over Jack's midsection, flexed violently, squashing their bodies even tighter together.

"Ennis…"

He tried to loosen Ennis's death grip on him, to turn around, but Ennis wouldn't let go, his face buried between Jack's shoulders, just below his nape. He was shaking.

"Ennis, wake up, cowboy. S'alright, jus' a bad dream, you hear?..."

Ennis froze, body gone rigid. He was awake now but didn't loosen his hold of Jack, just sagged a little behind him.

Then, without a word, his hand started roaming blindly, feverish over Jack's front, stroking his chest, his face, then down to his stomach and after a hesitant moment cupping his placid dick, touching it gently in a sexless gesture, then up again, back to Jack's chest, finally resting over his heart… As if Ennis was making sure that Jack was truly in his arms… In one piece… Unharmed…

After a still moment Ennis let out a rugged sigh and whimpered "Jack… Oh, Jack!.."

His cheek was wet against the back of Jack's shoulder.

"Shhh, s'alright, cowboy. Am right here jus' fine… It's jus' a bad dream…"

He stroke Ennis's arm that was still clutching at him, tried his best to gentle his cowboy down, like he'd do when Bobby woke up sometimes all scared and teary during a summer night thunder storm. Gradually, their caressing touches gained purpose, turning needy and heated, and soon both caught fire and were ablaze…

But they made it slow and tender this time, each trying to give the best he had to the other… holding him, loving him… taking him in the way he was, trying to let him know without saying that t'was him, t'was him… he was the one… _you are the one… the only one…for always…_

And when they finally came down from their heaven back into the night, still glowing from the joy and warmth, inside and out both, Ennis pressed his mouth into Jack's nape for a moment then breathed out "Jack… I…" and that was enough for Jack.

* * *

Soundtrack: Said I Loved you but I Lied, by Michael Bolton


End file.
